"The Nun (2018)" is a Foggy, Soggy Mess


“The Nun” is another spin-off movie that is apart of the “Conjuring Universe”.  Originally apart of  “The Conjuring 2” “The Nun” character is featured in a short scene that is utterly terrifying and effective, but if you’re trying to stretch that one note scare into a feature-length film you will very likely run into some problems.  This film was written by the prolific horror writer Gary Dauberman who is no stranger to the “Conjuring Universe”.  The film ultimately falls flat due to its paper thin plot and lack of direction, not to mention The Nun herself is relegated to nothing more than a scary concept and a few sight gags.  Similar to the “Annabelle” franchise, we need an origin story for The Nun to at least have something to work with.

The film’s lead actors are fairly decent as we have Sister Irene, played by Taissa Farmiga, who is the younger sister of Vera Farmiga who portrays Lorraine Warren in the Conjuring films. Sister Irene is just about to take her vows when the Vatican pairs her up with Father Burke (Demian Bichir) to investigate a nun’s death in Romania.  While in Romania they meet up with Frenchie the man who found the nun hanging from a noose outside the Abbey/Convent.  Frenchie also points out that he is French-Canadian, like that really matters.  The very few attempts at any sort of comedy die pretty quick.  Irene and Burke investigate the centuries old gothic castle looking for something or someone when they run into the reverend mother, a nearly comatose woman in a dark veil.  The trio then walks through the cemetery and several graves have bells on them.  This was a real thing back in the day so people were not mistakenly buried alive, this, of course, foreshadows a scene to come when Father Burke mysteriously ends up buried in one of the graves and Sister Irene has to race against the clock to find him.  A lot of ghostly paranormal things happen that don’t make a whole lot of sense but it all attributed to “The Nun”.  They find out that the demon that inhabits her is called Valek.  The third act gets even more ridiculous as they find a relic hidden within the Abbey that is supposedly a vial of blood from Jesus and this is the only way to defeat Valek.  Sister Irene, who is now a full-fledge Nun after Father Burke administers her vows, wears this vial of blood around her neck and fights the Nun in a pool of water.  Obviously, Sister Irene is victorious and they all live happily ever after, well not so fast there Frenchie.  We flashback to a scene from “The Conjuring 2” and find out that he became the new vessel for Valek and the Warrens were trying to free him from it.

When it comes to religious horror, there is nothing scarier than being Catholic.  This film while looking good on paper never really delivers anything but tired cliches.  As I mentioned before if they are planning a sequel, hopefully, it will be an origin story.